“I’m shattered. Mum has left me… the bestest part of my life. She’s my mum and my wife…..but I’ve found that my tears won’t bring her back… Just one prayer….. HEAL MY MUM. My only consolation is that she made heaven… a part of me has left…” These were the exact words of my friend who lost his Mum to the cold hands of death on the morning of 1st January, 2017 as we were celebrating the New Year. I’m still trying to get over the shock of it. Once I saw the above message from my friend, I broke down. I remembered how I felt as a 16year old, when I lost my elder brother to a fatal illness, two days to the start of my Senior High School Certificate Examination. I could feel his pain. I hated God at that time for taking my brother away from me. For not healing him. I never shed a tear. I became angry instead. I looked upon each new day with disdain.
It took a while but I eventually resigned to the reality that my brother is no more.
Sometimes, the rug can be swiftly pulled off from under our feet and we’re left with nothing to stand on.
We find ourselves at the bottom of the pit with a barrage of unanswered questions to both God and man, just like my friend.
You ask yourself if God really exists and you wonder, ‘why you? You open your Bible and you see the words, ‘rejoice’ and ‘trials’ in the same verse. How outrageous!
It’s enough one has to go through the trials and the Bible is still talking about Joy. Unfortunately, there’s nothing soothing you can tell someone who’s lost a loved one to the cold hands of death. But in the midst of the tears, I can only say, God sees and knows exactly what you’re going through. He can feel your pain. He knows all about your struggles. I usually tell people who are going through such shattering times to cry and vent all emotions and then pick themselves up again and find Joy in God.
It might come across as being insensitive, telling someone in that state of mind, to find joy in God when they have a lot of unanswered questions. During the time I mourned the death of my brother, one of the scenarios that helped me to pull through was the scenario of Jesus weeping when he heard that His friend Lazarus was dead. I immediately remembered Hebrews 4 vs 15-16:
We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all… So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. (MSG)
So He really does know how it feels to lose a loved one? So He could cry?
When you’re shattered and feel that God has left you, that is the time He calls out to you to comfort you. In the midst of the questions and hurt, cry to God and rest assured in His comfort.